Friday, July 10, 2009

Be Dalton

A couple of days after I selected the photo of Patrick Swayze for the Bad Mutha's Day post, I was overcome with an old, but familiar jones for something badass, something full of flavor yet devoid of taste, something I could watch with my wife. I was jonesing for Road House. How long had it been since I'd seen it? Dunno, but it was too long. Seems I watched that thing every week when I was 14/15 and it's just as awesome today, a balls-out, redneck, kung-fu flick with tits and monster trucks. My wife had never seen it, but she fell for it immediately, overwhelmed by its testosterone-fantastic fuckall spirit and muscled-up, irony-free, white-boy-zen-blues delivery. A smorgesborg of feathered hair, (on Swayze and Kelly Lynch especially - is that a wig?!?), awesome lines, ("Let's you and me get nipple to nipple." - thank you Ray Banks for highlighting that one - and "I used to fuck guys like you in prison.") and stone-washed denim chopsocky, it is the first of the Swayze cults I belong to, (see also his zen outlaw extreme sports bank robber in Point Break and motivational speaking, pleated pant wearing perv in Donnie Darko. Incidentally, Next of Kin is on my catch it again list, but the jury's still out). Aside from a stellar supporting cast including Sam Elliot and Ben Gazzara there are some intriguing musician cameos in it, Jeff Healy, John Doe and Tito Larriva make appearances and add to the atmosphere - hell, make you wanna rip the sleeves off your shirt and join in the mayhem. But I digress, this post was supposed to be a congratulatory announcement that Pete Tass was the winner of HBW's Bad Mutha's Day contest and will receive in the mail any day now, (HBW sends things econo-rate) a signed copy of Anthony Neil Smith's awesome new novel Hogdoggin'. Congratulations, Pete and look for more contests coming to HBW soon. BTW, if you're in the St. Louis area, the Webster Film Series continues its John Cassavettes series this evening with a screening of Shadows and on the 19th make sure you clear your calendar to catch Road House alum Ben Gazzara in Cassavetes' Killing of Chinese Bookie - a personal favorite, (also recently released Criterion edition that I have yet to see).


Pete said...

Thank you again. I have received the book and upon reading the inscription to you from the author I found no need to read the books promotions on it's back cover....I could tell that I would enjoy the author's "Road House" sense of humor. My favorite Road House quote was something to the effect of, "don't marry an ugly woman, she'll suck the life right out of you." Also, Sam Elliot is the man.

Dana King said...

wow, I hadn't thought of ROADHOUSE in a long time. A definite guilty pleasure.

Kieran Shea said...

I once worked on the line in a restaurant with a guy who would not watch any movie that didn't have Sam Elliott. Or John Wayne for that matter. Or Eastwood. But Elliott was key. This bordered on a "Rainman" like fervor. He would threaten all naysayers with his chef's knife. He had alot of problems. One. Crazy. Bastard.

jedidiah ayres said...

Kieran - I can't believe there were naysayers to threaten!

Pete - you're gonna like that book

Mike MacLean said...

Even as a teenager, I thought Road House was a pretty dumb flick (Bad karate and a plot straight out of the A-team). But to this day, when I see it on cable, I can't help but watch it. Same goes for Red Dawn.

I think both movies have a "don't-give-a-fuck" 'tude. They are what they are, they don't hold back.

It'll be sad to see the Swaze go.

jedidiah ayres said...

Just what are you implying about the A-Team, Mr. MacLean? Don't think Joe Carnahan will turn in a stunner???? True, I'd rather see him do White Jazz, but I'll take it. And as far as Red Dawn goes, I've always held it as the standard for paranoid right wing fantasy flicks, whereas The Contender is my ultimate left wing paranoid fantasy movie

Mike MacLean said...

Dude, I didn't even know Carnahan was making the A-Team. I really dug Smokin' Aces, and loved the A-Team as a kid even though each episode had the same damn plot(not unlike the Dukes of Hazzard).

My wife and I were just joking about who could play in an A-Team remake.

Chuck Liddell as BA
Taye Diggs as Face
Jim Carrey as Murdock (for lack of a better choice)
We couldn't think of anyone to play Hannibal-- George Peppard was the man.

I notice IMDB didn't have anyone cast for Murdock-- Dwight Schultz owned that role, and the show.

Kent said...

Next of Kin is a fun one. Most likely the only movie ever to give Chicago's Uptown citybilly population a supporting role (in the winter, if you take a citybilly's parking spot, they'll ice your car by dumping bucket after bucket of water over it until there's a nice thick build-up). Also, Liam Neeson as a hillbilly is its own special kind of genius.

jedidiah ayres said...

Have you had your car iced? That is kinda awesome.

Kent said...

No, but I used to live in Uptown, and every winter it would happen. Someone would move the sawhorses that had been put out, park, and by morning the offending vehicle would be completely iced over.

I'm way too lazy for the amount of effort that takes.